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| Joshua Ehrle on Unsplash |
Thank you for returning to the final part of this week's focus on Jobhunting as Courage. Parts one and two would be good to go back to if you have a moment. I was and still am surprised by all the projects, creations and deep thinking I have done on my jobhunting journey. So I'd like to share them in because they might be useful to you, but also to appreciate that jobhunting is very hard but not without value. It is a time to see what we are made of. And, whatever it is we find, let's accept it, keep moving, get support. Please don't isolate if joblessness is getting you down.
What I have created in the past several weeks on my jobhunt:
-Job Desirability Matrix to know myself and filter with far too many search hits or emailed job leads
-Roster and demographics research sheet to build my understanding of the setting I’d be in and build credibility
-Schoology course on Newcomer support to show I can create online content using LMS
-One-pager on Newcomer support to show I can summarize thoughts
-Elementary School growth plan to show I can prioritize needs in an organization
-Overview of a Dual Language Program launch and strategy for an elementary school to show I appreciate the interplay of processes, people, and policies.
-Introduction Letter to boil down all that I would want to say
-Plans for coaching various teachers: to demonstrate that I love coaching and listening and helping adults grow
-UTMA accounts for my boys to put their summer $ in an index fund so that they have more, knowledge options sooner than I did.
-I finally used my Vanguard Roth IRA to purchase shares of index funds to grow some funds for retirement besides my teacher retirement fund.
Please comment: To what can you relate in all of the lessons I am sharing from my past several months?
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| Jobhunting as Courage Episode |
How it all ties to courage
I’ve rambled (quite) a bit... Now here is the connection: In talking about how she defines vulnerability, Brene Brown offers this:
“The definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. But vulnerability is not weakness; it's our most accurate measure of courage.”
Uncertainty
As of the writing of this post, I have not one job offer right now, and I have applied to over 100 positions for which I am qualified. It took some vulnerability to write that just now. I have no idea what my next job will be, and while I have savings in the bank, and my wife is employed, I don’t know what is next or what to do. I often pause and enter stillness to keep my heart rate lower, and try to find certainty and groundedness, but I don’t know of many things that shake a person up like job hunting as a mom or dad.
Risk
I took a risk leaving my last position, and I was risking a great deal of mental and emotional health by staying. To live is to risk. Nowadays, I risk failing to remain professional, making too many jokes in my nervousness in interviews, misspeaking in interviews, speaking too long, or just missing the mark every time I interview. Interviews are rife with risk. God bless us all for enduring the interview process when necessary.
I risk safety on some level every time I put myself in a position to have people say, “em, yeah, it’s just not a good fit.” Sigh.
My risking and remaining in the sucky part (what Brene Brown calls, “embrace the suck”) is working the kinks out, and growing me. My reward follows the risk. My growth is in proportion to not only interviewing for positions that aren’t the best fit at first glance, but in the pursuit of feedback on my performance tasks and interview impressions I made.
Emotional exposure
To feel the need to leave the previous job after working so hard to learn it and grow was terribly humiliating. I truly felt not good enough. As entered the interviewosphrere, it then was super difficult to accept that my personality didn’t just win people over immediately, and not in the second, third or fourth month of job hunting. #pridepricked #humblepie. Because I see myself as a people person, and I interviewed with people that had worked with me before, I felt like a total fool for trusting them to offer me a job. Deep sigh. To be sure, joblessness involves exposure to emotions of shame, guilt, regret (for what I didn’t do or say or be in the previous job, or for what I didn’t do or say or be in that last interview) for sure, but I have a choice: I can take it as shame, when folks don't see me, as I am, or seem to see all my flaws, or I can take the jobhunting time as it is: a season without ongoing employment, and a series of opportunities to practice vulnerability, grow courage and be really flippin’ proud of myself. My motions lead to my e-motions. I had to accept in my heart the fact that I tell myself whole stories when I apply to a job, get an interview, log off an interview, and when I get feedback. These stories may or may not be true (surprise, they are mostly not true!) I create emotional and mental worlds that get destroyed when I don’t get what I want. More humble pie.
When, and as, I have shifted in this season, though, I am seeing that I can be present and live in the story without being the central character. I can let God provide, and I can seek him in my difficulty. I can practice centering prayer, take a walk with my family or my dog, Cha Cha. I am totally empowered to live right now in the present moment and apply to a job or write notes for a blog or podcast for men in many roles. I can stop telling myself stories of how everyone missed a great opportunity by passing me over, and simply let them give me feedback. I can trace patterns of feedback and be a learner in a growth mindset. It just requires lots of courage in the daily, weekly, and longer term rhythms of my life.
Joblessness as courage: if you currently have a job or steady income, you are likely dealing with another area of life that isn’t stable. Courage is required for anything that matters to your heart. And hey, if you are in the position to, be merciful to the next people you interview. If you don’t have a job, may God give you peace, patience and ongoing hope. Our hearts matter. We are men in many roles and we will not let our hearts die, suffocate or languish. We will engage vulnerability, risk, uncertainty, and yes, men, even emotional exposure as we grow our courage.
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