 |
| Taylor Lastovich on Upsplash |
The goal of this blog is to explore our lives as we live out many roles. My big plan is to publish every other weekday, so that means this week, it'll be Monday Wednesday and Friday.
Today and this week, I'd like to offer some reflections and experience from my life as I've navigated joblessness, courage, the joy of victory and the agony of defeat on my job hunting journey.
Because I know I tend to be wordy and that's a turn off for many, I will cut to the chase first, and elaborate if you care to read on. I value your constructive comments, questions, and connections to what I'm sharing with a certain level of fear. Vulnerability is scary. Courage is a muscle, and I'm starting to work out more.
Punch lines:
Joblessness hits us hard in all our roles, but there is beauty in the pain.
Gotta suffer to truly, deeply learn.
Disruption is a gift.
Feedback is worth it most of the time, and anyone willing to pursue feedback is worthy of respect.
Brene Brown’s definition of vulnerability fits perfectly with the courage we need in joblessness.
 |
| Jobhunting as Courage Episode |
Reflections on Jobhunting In Many Roles:
Self: Joblessness is a deep opportunity for self-awareness and learning how you come across to others. I have been honored, humbled, infuriated, and sobered by the honest feedback after being passed over. It’s been a long time since I had to hustle to land the next job, so my interviewing skills were out of shape, and some of my old habits die hard. Nothing like some direct feedback to smack me in the face and wake me up to my impact, regardless of intentions. As I strive to be a wholehearted self, that is courage, and I don’t care to entertain others’ opinions or advice unless they have engaged in all three:
1. Hunting and applying for several jobs per week, for multiple weeks.
2. Asking for direct, challenging feedback after being passed over for the job, and
3. Acting on the feedback to the best of their ability.
Son: Joblessness is a chance to rely on fathers, mentors and to approach God as a father, provider, and a constant. I’m blessed to have a caring father who’s offered to take me out to lunch several times this summer. My perceived curse has become an unexpected blessing, in just getting to shoot the breeze with my pops at the outdoor patio of our lunch spot. If you care for a jobhunting man or woman, or if you have experience with joblessness, treat a man or woman who is on the job hunt to a meal and a conversation full of curiosity, empathy and advice offered gently or when solicited. If you are on the hunt, there are mentors, friends, and family who might like to chat with you or offer advice if you are willing to be humble enough to ask. I have to admit, I wasn’t humble enough to ask my dad… he offered. I’m not there yet, but I’m eating lots of humble pie lately, and I’m learning.
Brother: If you are jobless, you are not alone. 12.6 million are unemployed as of October, 2020, and the average is between 5 and 6 million people every year are unemployed, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics data. Every job hunter needs a brother or sister, a safe place to rant and gain perspective. I’m so grateful for Dave, Kirk, Devon, and others who listen to my journey, and Dan, Chris and others who have share about their job hunt. It diminishes shame, and normalizes transition and (gasp) not getting what we want right away when job hunting. In a tech-drenched world, we think everything including job hunting should be easy but… you guessed it. Any time a human element is involved it just ain’t easy.
Father: As a father, it is a gift to talk about how you are growing, and what you are learning as you engage in the job hunt. If your children are old enough to understand, it can be a rare opportunity for your children to support you in prayer, offer kind words, and a rare opportunity for your children to be part of the tough times and the good times. My boys are not lamenting that I am more present, and they know I’m hustling. They see my job chart, see me dressing up in the suit and tie, shaving, printing out notes, shooing them out of the office while I interview. Children can be wonderful empathizers, and they may appreciate knowing some context. Some children are naturally more worried than others, so exercise discretion and choose your words carefully, updating your children at regular intervals. I am careful with my mind and heart in this process, very careful not to need their support, but simply to share what I’ve been thinking, feeling and doing in my journey. I have to remember to build trust and connection, and consider myself a model of how to go through this journey as they will, and not to fill my needs by over relying on them.
Lover/Spouse: There is great respect that can be built between you and your spouse as you job hunt. I have kept a chart of each job, and I have prayed about each application. All the applications are a testament to my work ethic and my wife knows that I am working hard. When my wife notices my work ethic, reminds me of my strengths, offers care and does so with sincerity, it is a HUGE boost. Both tomorrow, and our current jobs are not promised… COVID, economic changes, a turn for the worse in a work relationship… so many factors can kill our momentum. So to not share the struggle with your spouse or partner is just a lie. Even if my wife doesn’t understand, I can be my best self and be honest about what I’m doing and how I’m feeling in the job hunt. I’m discovering what I’m made of and most of it is pretty encouraging, even if the results up to this point are not. I’m proud of our savings, of my integrity and creativity, and tools and routines I’ve created. I’ve even implemented a prayer practice for each job application that I’m proud of. But companionship from my wife, the person who knows me best and has shared life with me for 18 year now (Wow!) is precious. This time, God willing, will be a memory of some pain, but mostly of my wife’s devotion, loyalty and willingness to suffer with me. We are not in control, but we choose to love each other in sickness, health, job, no job, richer, poorer...
Leader: For me, I need to keep in mind that I am leading myself… every request for feedback, every endeavor to research an organization I might work for is an act of leadership. Anything I go into in order to learn, influence or change is leadership. We lead with a strong example when we endure joblessness. We lead interviewers’ thoughts when we answer questions, show them what we have found or researched, and when we ask them questions. It occurred to me recently: A question is an act of leadership because questions influence thinking even if the question is considered and not answered/dodged or pivoted from. Simply put, questions influence thinking, even if for a short moment.
Follower: There is something very humbling about following the lead of a potential employer, engaging in their questions with or without knowing the questions in advance. The degree to which we perceive and respond to needs in the employer (both in our application, pre-interviewing, and during interviewing process) is how we show we are helpful followers to the organization. It takes being present and grounded to do this both at work, and when interviewing and hunting for the next job.
Thank you for reading!
Come back for Part 2 on Wednesday this week!
I appreciate the transparency of the blog. My dad was hunting for work after being fired, when I was 16. He had 4 teenagers and loads of responsibilities. I've often looked back at his struggle and decided that my path looks "easier than that!" As I've struggled myself through a number of occupational transitions over the years, I've considered the impact of my kids watching how I handle events and opportunities, as they've also been on the job hunt the last few years too. Faithful efforts filtered through a solid evaluation typically produce desired results. It's the real friends and family (and Church family) who stick with you, encourage, advise and even help with necessities, that will make all the difference in these times of deep personal and financial struggle.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing, and I will attest to the power of intimate friends and the larger family/spiritual community to help me navigate this wild time.
DeleteI'm also with you on the power of showing our kids how to struggle and suffer with life, situations, and miscellaneous curveballs. I believe most of what we learn about how to "do" life is caught, not taught.
Thank you again for commenting, I really appreicate knowing how this is landing. I will strive to be transparent and vulnerable, as I see that is lacking on the web and social media.
With gratitude,
Michael