Leader: Start Now on Next Year's Goals

In the role of leader it is important to look ahead with grounded confidence.  Routines like goal setting help the whole organization. New Year's celebrations bring a rhythm we can capitalize on.  

Photo by Boba Jovanovic on Unsplash

Fight the Typical with the "Three Ses"

Everything I just said is obvious.  What isn't obvious, however, is the power of stillness, silence and solitude.  What if we prepared for every new year with a solid hour of doing nothing but existing?  What if we just breathed and sat, eyes closed and ears plugged, and knew that we are loved, limited and that we are loving others the best we can?  What if this were part of every Black Friday or Cyber Monday instead of consumerism?  When can you offer yourself the gift of a quiet moment?  

Some practical ways I've built my understanding and practice of the "Three Ses" are to:

-Simply set my Fitbit timer for 20 minutes every morning after my coffee and be still in a room away from everyone else, with my phone on Do Not Disturb.  This is an act of defiance against all things frenetic, frazzling, and frustrating.  Stillness can be proactive and it can be a response when you have had one too many video meetings, feel buried in email or feel your life is just frenetic.  

-Listen to some podcasts, read or otherwise prepare to practice more centering prayer with content on Contemplative Prayer (HERE is some content I really enjoyed before I was consistently engaging with centering prayer).  I think if we move toward God in stillness, it is new, it is physically healthy, and it is good for us to resist mindlessly checking a screen.  It is holy, silent, precious time to be uninterrupted, and just be precious in God's sight.  We are worth it.  God is worth just sitting with, with zero pressure to do anything.

-Do some deeper thinking or journaling about who I am versus how I "show up" in the world.  I have found the work of Christopher Heuertz and Beatrice Chestnutt to be very helpful in my understanding of the Enneagram and to consider ways I might move toward who I am rather than thinking I am my personality.  I think we would do well to consider the difference between identity (who we are and were created to be) and personality (who we have become to "make life work" or control outcomes or stay safe).  Based on our personality, there are unique considerations in our inner work. The point here is to consider our new year's goals and foci from a place of being rather than striving. As we set goals we ought to grow rather than go with the flow, cave in to pressure, or just give up on reflection and goal setting altogether.

-Get some counseling sessions for free as part of my Employer's EAP (Employee Assistance Program).  This year has been brutal on our souls, relationships, marriages, children's psyches, and more.  I must say, I grew a lot from talking with a professional listener. And I was quite grateful for this benefit from my job.  I highly recommend taking notes in the moment or immediately after leaving the appointment to refer back to.  I really treasure my notes from my sessions.  On this note, if you have a spouse or child(ren), they are often included in this benefit.  I used my own EAP benefits, then later in the year used my wife's EAP benefits.  Your children could also be blessed to just talk to someone who listens for a living.  This podcast and blog may not have come into existence as it has if it weren't for my counselor validating and listening and offering heartfelt conviction and nudging me.

Less Pressure, More Reflection

There is always pressure to set goals, do more or less of something, to have more or less of something.  There is even pressure to BE more or less in some regard as if we could change our identity with an app or more effort.  Reject that way of living as you end this year.  Simply be.  It is free, there's no sign-up fee, no monthly payment, no password to remember, no website to go to.  Remove the pressure with contentment and contemplation. As leaders, if we are to create quality goals, we need time and we must avoid pressure.

Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash

Here's a great triad to begin preparation for the new year: Start by reflecting on what was good, true (even if it was hard), and beautiful this year. To focus on these three is to focus on the divine.  It is a spiritual way to engage the ending of a (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime year of death, division, and disruption.  To spend time with this triad is to welcome and wonder: What could be an equally unique and positive 2021?  We must push back against any pressure to hurry anything this holiday season--be it shopping, getting together when we aren't yet comfortable doing it, rushing, and generally letting other people or the world nudge us toward distraction and dismissal of our own hearts.  Reflect on screen time, last year's goals, this year's habits you fell into throughout the various stages of the year, and reflect on what brought the most joy.  Was it walking more? Getting a dog? Making more homemade food?  This past week's Wild at Heart Podcast is chock full of ideas to reflect and prepare for what is to come in the next couple of months.  Finally, I have enjoyed reflecting on my roles using the Many Roles Matrix I developed this year as I have considered what is good, what is true (even if I don't like it) about myself, and what is beautiful in my story.  Download your copy now for free, and see what you think about as you journal or chat with a friend about your many roles.

Pick One Thing. One.

Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash

Now, in light of all the preparation discussed here, I want to leave you with a simple message that I love holding to.  Despite all our desires and past experience with New Year's Resolutions, we would do well to pick one thing, one habit, one word or phrase to hold to.  We should pray about this and let the one thing come when it will.  It may come immediately or in February.  It may not be until much later that you are aware of what the theme or focus of 2021 should be for you.  No pressure, no pounds to try to lose, no habits to feel forced into.  It is kind and gracious and intimately beautiful to pick one thing, pray about it, sit with it, and decide to focus on it.  One year my focus was the word "contend." It was connected to my need to work hard against comfort.  A keyword for me in centering prayer is the word "return," as my mind is constantly wandering rather than reposing.  For a resource, I'd direct you to the Wild at Heart Podcast again.  Search for the podcasts they offer in December and January every year about this kinder way of entering a new year.

In our many and varied roles as leaders, we feel much pressure, and we do continue to adjust in a year unlike any other, so we need a different quality of grace than usual as we close this year out.  Prepare well, be kind as you invest in your soul, and may you be free from pressure.  Pick one focus.

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